The 3 Questions That Changed My Life
Sometimes the most profound transformations come from the simplest questions
When my life fell apart—relationship ending, business struggling, health declining—I kept searching for complex solutions. But transformation came from three simple questions that I now ask myself every morning.
Question 1: What Am I Not Saying?
The first question revealed how much I was hiding—from others and myself. The unsaid truths were eating me alive from the inside:
- "I'm scared I'm not good enough"
- "I don't know what I'm doing"
- "I need help"
- "I'm not happy"
These unspoken truths were like poison in my system. Every interaction became a performance, every relationship a careful dance around what couldn't be said.
Try it now:
What are you not saying? To whom? What would happen if you said it?
Question 2: What Am I Pretending Not to Know?
This question was harder. It forced me to admit I already knew things I was actively avoiding:
- My relationship had been over for years
- My business model wasn't sustainable
- My lifestyle was slowly killing me
- I was living someone else's definition of success
We often know exactly what we need to do. We just pretend we don't because knowing would require action, and action requires courage.
Try it now:
What truth about your life are you avoiding? What do you already know needs to change?
Question 3: What Am I Willing to Feel?
This was the breakthrough question. I realized I'd organized my entire life around not feeling certain things:
- Disappointment
- Rejection
- Vulnerability
- Grief
- Joy (yes, even joy)
But here's what I discovered: The feelings we avoid don't go away. They just go underground and run our lives from the shadows.
When I finally said "I'm willing to feel it all," everything changed. Not because the feelings went away, but because I stopped organizing my life around avoiding them.
Try it now:
What feeling are you most afraid of? What if you were willing to feel it?
The Daily Practice
Now, every morning, I ask myself these three questions. Some days the answers are small—a text I need to send, a boundary I need to set. Other days they're life-changing—a career to leave, a conversation to have, a dream to pursue.
The magic isn't in the questions themselves. It's in the honest answering. It's in the courage to look at what is rather than what we wish was.
Your Turn
These questions cost nothing. They require no special training, no guru, no course. Just you, your truth, and the willingness to look.
Start Today:
- Set aside 10 minutes tomorrow morning
- Ask yourself these three questions
- Write down whatever comes up
- Take one small action based on what you discover
Remember: Transformation doesn't come from having all the answers. It comes from having the courage to ask the right questions and the willingness to live the truth they reveal.