The Power of Saying "I Don't Know"

In a world that rewards expertise, admitting ignorance is a superpower

October 15, 2024 | 5 min read | Oren Knaan

In a world that rewards expertise, admitting ignorance feels like failure. We're supposed to have answers, strategies, five-year plans. But what if not knowing is actually a superpower?

The Moment Everything Changed

I was in a high-stakes meeting, leading a product strategy session. The CEO asked me a critical question about our roadmap. I had two options:

  1. Bullshit my way through with corporate jargon
  2. Say three words that terrified me: "I don't know"

I chose option 2. The room went silent. My ego screamed. And then something magical happened.

"But," I continued, "let me find out." The CEO smiled. "That's the most honest answer I've heard all week."

The Cost of Pretending to Know

When we pretend to know, we:

Close Ourselves to Learning

If you already "know," why would you listen?

Make Poor Decisions

Based on assumptions rather than investigation

Create Distance

Others sense our inauthenticity

Increase Anxiety

Constantly afraid of being exposed

The Gift of Not Knowing

When we admit we don't know, we:

  • Create space for discovery: Questions become more interesting than answers
  • Build real trust: People trust those who admit limitations
  • Learn faster: Beginners mind accelerates growth
  • Reduce pressure: No need to maintain the expert facade
  • Model courage: Others feel permission to not know too

The Paradox

Here's the beautiful paradox: The more comfortable you become with not knowing, the more you actually know. Because real wisdom isn't about having all the answers. It's about asking better questions.

As a coach, my most powerful moments aren't when I give brilliant advice. They're when I say, "I don't know, but let's explore this together." That's when real transformation happens.

How to Practice Not Knowing

Practice with low-stakes situations. "I don't know what restaurant to choose." "I don't know if that's the right decision."

Follow "I don't know" with "but I'm curious about..." or "let me find out" or "what do you think?"

Pay attention to how people respond. You'll often find relief, connection, and respect rather than judgment.

The Ultimate Freedom

There's incredible freedom in not knowing. You don't have to defend positions you don't hold. You don't have to pretend. You don't have to have it all figured out.

You get to be a human being who's learning, growing, discovering. You get to be surprised. You get to change your mind. You get to be wrong.

Try This Today:

Find one opportunity to say "I don't know" today. Notice what happens – both in you and in the other person. You might be surprised by the connection and possibility that emerges from those three simple words.

Share this post:
Back to Blog