I Was a People Pleaser

I used to be everyone's favorite person. Always saying yes. Never causing conflict. Bending over backwards to make everyone happy. I thought I was being kind. I was actually disappearing.

The Invisible Prison

People pleasing felt like love, but it was fear in disguise. Fear of rejection. Fear of conflict. Fear of being seen as selfish or difficult. So I said yes when I meant no. I smiled when I was angry. I gave when I was empty.

The worst part? People loved it. I was rewarded for betraying myself. Praised for having no boundaries. Appreciated for never asking for anything in return.

The Cost

But here's what people pleasing really cost me:

• My authenticity: I became a shape-shifter, different with everyone
• My energy: Constantly managing everyone's emotions was exhausting
• My relationships: No one knew the real me because I never showed up
• My self-respect: I abandoned myself daily for others' comfort
• My joy: I was so busy being who others needed that I forgot who I was

The Wake-Up Call

My wake-up call came when my body started breaking down. Chronic fatigue. Anxiety attacks. My body was screaming what I couldn't say: "ENOUGH."

I realized that by trying to please everyone, I was pleasing no one—least of all myself. My relationships weren't real because I wasn't real in them.

The Recovery

Recovering from people pleasing wasn't about becoming selfish. It was about becoming real. Learning to:

• Say no without explaining
• Disappoint others without dying
• Have needs and express them
• Set boundaries and maintain them
• Choose discomfort over dishonesty

The Freedom

Now, I'm not everyone's favorite person. Some people don't like me. And that's okay. Because the people who do like me, like the real me. The relationships I have are real. The love I give comes from choice, not compulsion.