Should I Follow Logic or My Heart?

I no longer believe in choosing the lesser evil, or following something just because it's logical or efficient. I believe in going for what I really, truly want—even when I have no idea how.

Story 1: The MacBook That Changed Everything

I needed a new computer and wanted a MacBook Pro. I didn't have much money, and it cost 12,000. I told a friend I might go with a Lenovo T-series—also powerful and half the price. She said: "Get the MacBook. Otherwise you'll work, but feel regret for not getting what you really wanted."

So I bought the MacBook. It had a price—financial and otherwise. I had to get serious about making money quickly. But I loved using it. It served me for 12 years. It's not even broken—just slow. That purchase was a learning and healing experience that still inspires me today.

Story 2: The Job That Cost Me Five Years

I took a job that didn't suit me—just for the money and status. I worked a year, felt exploited, and when I left, I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Over time, I understood it was the pain of self-betrayal. I became a stranger to myself. I grew rigid. I took everything personally, even though a part of me knew it wasn't necessary and didn't know how to change it.

I went on a healing journey in South America. Eight months later, I realized I was just beginning to heal. It took five years to return to myself. At a bus stop in Herzliya, after a session with a career counselor, I suddenly realized: I'm healed, finally. In that moment an entire workshop formed in my mind—"Collecting Soul Fragments."

In those five years, I burned through everything I'd earned and more—including the exit bonus. That's not the worst part. The worst was feeling awful for five years—plus the year in that job.

You Can't Fill the Heart with Logic

You can't choose logic and expect your heart to feel full. In politics, you can't support leaders whose values are fundamentally different from yours just because they're the "least bad," and expect them to create the change you truly want. Same with life systems you don't believe in. It won't bring the change you long for.

There's one thing to do—terrifying but necessary: go for what you genuinely want, fantasize about, wish for, dream of. Led by people you're truly excited to follow. Anything else breeds disappointment, bitterness, frustration, victimhood, and "the grass is greener" thinking.

Where Compromise Ends and Flexibility Begins

When we "go for something," we often think we need to compromise. I learned a helpful distinction: compromise vs. flexibility.

• Compromise = I don't get what I wanted.
• Flexibility = I get what I wanted, just not exactly how I imagined.

If I want to fly to Japan for cherry blossoms—going to Italy instead is compromise. Going to Japan but missing the blossoms is compromise. But going at a different time, to a different city, staying in a hostel instead of a hotel, or for a shorter trip—if I still see the blossoms, that's flexibility, not compromise.

Sometimes flexibility + creative thinking is the difference between realizing a heart desire and abandoning it.